A Year Ago Today

...I looked like this.

My family looked like this.


And then we looked like this.


I got up early that morning. Really, really early. I couldn't sleep. The combination of being 9 months pregnant and knowing you're going to have a baby in the morning will do that to you.

The c-section was cake. They got the IV in on the first try (it took 9 TIMES with Brooke!) and the surgery prep went quickly. Before I knew it I was lying on the operating table waiting for Scot to come in. We looked at each other and tried to talk but we were both just too nervous, waiting for our baby.

I don't know when women typically bond with their babies, but for me it's at the first cry. Everything is a little surreal up until that point, and no number of ultrasounds or baby kicks changes that. I waited to hear Nathan. I felt lots of pressure, like my lungs would burst. Scot held my hand.

Hearing Nathan's cry was one of the two most amazing moments in my life. Nathan cried. I cried. I loved him instantly with the same fierce, mama-bear love I have for his sister.

Amazing.

He was 8 pounds, 11 ounces and 21 inches long.

I got to see Nathan very briefly in the operating room before the nurses took him out. I went to recovery and wouldn't get to see him again for another hour. A clock on the wall slowly ticked the minutes away. Both of our families were there and came in one by one to see me and give me updates.

Finally, the hour was up and we got to know our boy.

Happy first birthday, Nathan!


Love, me